Taking control of your mind means taking control of your life. But it doesn’t have to be as challenging as you think. During one of my travels, I thought about what my clients had in common. And I realized that it came down to two words: Finding yourself.
Sometimes, you try to change everyone around you. You blame other people and make yourself a martyr. Even when what you need to do is to put things in perspective and see a common thread in each problem that you may have. That would be you. Can you set your ego aside and admit that it’s you who’s causing problems? That’s where you have to start.
I admit that I’ve messed things up in my own life. Nothing that I was doing was working – I wasn’t getting any results. I could have tried to be a martyr or blame other people. But I chose to learn something from it. So, I started reading books about social psychology. But I still had the same insecurities that I used to put on everyone else. Then, I realized one thing… I needed to get control of my mind.
I’ll tell you why it’s so important and what it means. And I can help you get control of your mind as well.
Control Your Mind, Control Your World
When you can control your mind, you can control your world, too. But before we continue, let me tell you about the Austrian neuropsychologist and war survivor, Viktor Frankl. If you’ve ever read his book Man’s Search for Meaning, you know that he’s gone through the depths of hell. But this prisoner of war and death camp survivor figured out that the key to survival lies in one’s ability to make a choice. The ability to choose how you respond to what’s going on.
And if you have control over your mind, you can choose how you’ll respond to anything. It’s not a reaction anymore. It becomes a response. And because it’s a response, it means there’s a choice. With choice, you have control. You may not have control over whether the sun is going up or coming down, but you have a choice about how you choose to let something affect you.
That gives you the ultimate freedom. What people say or do is no longer relevant because their actions do not define you. They don’t influence you and you can be at peace with who you are.
Four Tips for Regaining Control
There are internal obstacles in our brains that we need to overcome to regain control. Let’s see what they are and the steps you can take to start regaining control of your mind.
Tip #1 Understand How Conditioning Works
We often become conditioned by our environment and accept certain things as truth. We also become conditioned by the people we interact with.
Now, I want you to consider a triangle of what I call the three cells – our self-worth, self-esteem, and self-image. They’re universal in everyone. Your self-worth is a value judgment based on your experience. It generates your present self-esteem, which is how you feel at the moment. If you’ve failed at something in the past, you may have felt bad about it and had low self-esteem. You may have projected that into the future.
What can you do about it? If you change your self-worth, it automatically changes your self-image and what’s possible in the future. This is the most common thread in everyone I see.
Athletes often say, “I made one mistake and I threw the whole game away.” Even celebrities have such moments. But they have coaches. Because when you’re performing at such a high level, you’re exposed to negative comments all the time. They need someone to help them stay on track and keep moving forward. Until you experience something like this, you may not realize how important it is to control your mind.
Tip #2 Ask the Right Question
Controlling our minds isn’t something we’re taught to do. No one tells you how neurology works and everyone focuses instead on why we’re doing something. The critical questions to ask is: How can I start doing what I want to do?
You’re going to stop doing the stuff that you don’t want. Instead, think about how you can start doing what you want. If you’re already doing it, think about how you made it happen. And then, come up with ways to rechannel the things that you’re doing well in a way that’ll be beneficial for you as a whole.
Tip #3 Know that Your Mind Always Works in Your Best Interest
The journey starts with programming yourself. Your mind does exactly what it thinks you want it to do. It always does things in your best interest.
If you have behaviors you don’t want, it’s because you’re not collaborating with your mind properly. It’s hardwired to move away from pain and towards pleasure, and the way you feel about everything around you comes down to two things. The images you create in your head and the words you say to yourself. Your mind listens all the time to your language. If you’re to say, “I’m dying in all this paperwork! I can’t cope with this stress.” You’re telling your mind that you don’t want to do it. And, guess what? Your mind will encourage you to procrastinate and not apply yourself to what you’re doing. Because it always does what it thinks you want.
Tip #4 Link Pain to Pleasure
If you can link the difficult and the painful to pleasure, you’ll be able to do those things. So, get out of your brain.It may sound silly but that’s how it works. If you don’t have what you want, change the way you’re communicating with your mind.
Instead of saying, “This is hard, I can’t do this. It’s killing me”, turn things around and say, “I love it. I enjoy doing it. It’s great, and I can do it.” That’s one way to get into positive thinking and collaborate with your mind.
Change the Picture, Change the Words
Now you know that your mind does things that are in your best interest. But it doesn’t do what it thinks you don’t want. Instead, it listens to your self-talk and follows up.
The way to control the mind is to understand how you’ve become conditioned. Your past mistakes affect your present self-esteem. Becoming aware of it is the first step. Only then will you change your negative self-talk into positive and collaborate with your mind.
Asking yourself how you can do the things that you want to do is an excellent start. And if you want to progress, you don’t have to do it alone. Sign up for my webinar and learn more about how you can control your mind and make yourself happen.